The Week That Tried to Break Me

I’m late again… and I’m sorry.

This week has hit me hard in more ways than I can even explain.

My son was in an accident. He totaled my car. He’s okay—and I can’t even put into words how grateful I am for that—but the fear in that moment? It doesn’t just disappear. It stays with you. It shakes you.

Now I’m dealing with insurance, trying to figure out how I’m going to replace the car, and it’s stressful. Exhausting. Just one more thing sitting on my shoulders.

At the same time, I decided this was the week.

The week I would overhaul my book. The week I would finally start querying.

Let me just say this…

Querying is soul crushing.

I’ve already received five rejections.

Five.

I know that’s part of the process. I know every author goes through it. I know I’m supposed to grow thick skin and keep going.

But knowing that doesn’t stop it from hurting.

Each rejection feels like it takes a piece of you with it. And this week… I felt that. Deeply.

I’m still waiting to hear back from others, but right now, I’m sitting in that space where doubt gets loud. Where everything you believed in starts to feel fragile.

And if I’m being honest?

It’s pushed me into a place that feels a lot like depression.

Then there’s social media.

Trying to build something. Trying to build anything.

And it feels impossible.

People aren’t showing up because they’re interested in my book. They’re not engaging because they care about the clothing designs. They’re not here because they want to follow the journey of an author trying to make it.

Instead, I get messages asking me out. Or asking me to hire them. Or asking me to support their thing.

But not… this.

Not the thing I’m pouring everything into.

And that part?

That part hurts more than I expected.

Because it makes you feel invisible.

Like you’re shouting into a void and nothing is coming back.

I’ve cried a lot this week.

And I don’t think I’m done yet.

But I want to make one thing clear—to myself just as much as to anyone reading this:

I’m not giving up.

I don’t care how hard this gets. I don’t care how many rejections come in. I don’t care how heavy this feels right now.

I will get another car. I will keep querying. I will keep showing up. I will keep building, even when it feels like no one is watching.

And I will pull myself out of this.

Even if I have to drag myself through it one step at a time.

So if you’re reading this and you’re in your own version of this moment—where everything feels like it’s hitting at once…

Keep fighting.

You don’t win by being perfect. You don’t win by avoiding the hard parts.

You win by staying in the game.

And I’m still here.

Until next time… stay sassy—and keep fighting.